Centers' Little Helper

Dennis Hans, unrenowned former adjunct professor of mass comm and American foreign policy, relentlessly exposed the Bush administration’s “techniques of deceit” BEFORE the Iraq war, when it could have made a difference (see links). For decades he has fought baseball’s discrimination against lefthanded infielders and promoted his ingenious clockwise solution. A lifelong advocate for a flowing, non-brutal, flop-free NBA, he now champions the cause of its second-class citizens: the centers.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Barney Fife and David Stern
In my latest HoopsHype column, Insane ruling leaves Spurs-Suns unsettled, I draw a parallel between NBA commissioner David Stern, his VP Stu Jackson and Deputy Barney Fife. Here’s an excerpt:

David Stern and Stu Jackson point solemnly to the “red letter” rules governing players stepping on the court when an altercation breaks out or going into the stands under any circumstances. The commissioner and his executive vice president remind me of Deputy Barney Fife, who could always be counted on to make a mess of things in Mayberry through rigid enforcement of some silly, poorly crafted law whenever Sheriff Andy Taylor was away. Like Stern and Jackson, by-the-book Barney ranked “correctness” above “fairness.” Soon the whole town would be in an uproar until sensible, fair-minded Andy returned to clear up the mess and restore sanity.

That’s why I’m proposing that Stern be immediately replaced by Sheriff Andy Taylor. Yes, I realize he’s a fictional TV character from the early 1960s. But we could get a young actor with a Carolina twang to portray him, and his modus operandi would be to ask himself before every basketball decision, What would Andy do?


And here’s a piece from a couple of weeks ago explaining Golden State’s upset of Dallas: Baron, luck and (maybe) subconscious racism propel Warriors.

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