Centers' Little Helper

Dennis Hans, unrenowned former adjunct professor of mass comm and American foreign policy, relentlessly exposed the Bush administration’s “techniques of deceit” BEFORE the Iraq war, when it could have made a difference (see links). For decades he has fought baseball’s discrimination against lefthanded infielders and promoted his ingenious clockwise solution. A lifelong advocate for a flowing, non-brutal, flop-free NBA, he now champions the cause of its second-class citizens: the centers.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My quick-fix for Dwight Howard’s persistent free-throw woes
You can read my analysis here.

: Name: Dennis Hans; Location: St Petersburg, Florida, United States

At 5-9, I am indeed centers’ “little” helper. But my keen sense of justice and fair play leads me to identify with the big guy who gets called for a foul when a guard makes a change-of-direction sideways jump into his torso. Before David Stern took over in 1984 and started appointing incompetents to the key basketball-policy positions, that would have been an obvious offensive foul. Common sense reigned before Stern. It can reign again. I will advocate for rules that are fair, so that centers have as easy a time avoiding foul trouble as guards and forwards. Another Stern Era feature, “Might makes right,” has been great for Shaq and Dwight but disastrous for centers as a whole. Dislodging, long three-second counts, and inside-the-lane posters spreading their arms clothesline-style and/or “walking” the defender under the basket reward brute strength and hurt the game. Also, there’s no reason to give Shane Battier and his ilk a bonus point for sinking a long set shot. Getting rid of the trey will mean more FG attempts for well-rounded centers and unemployment for one-dimensional stiffs, regardless of position. Another thing: If you can't shoot, I can help. dhans@tampabay.rr.com

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Andre Drummond shoots backwards (July 12, 2012)

The FT-Practice False Positive (Nov 2012)

Houston, we have a problem shooter (July 12, 2013)

Josh Smith and Stan Van Gundy (Nov 2014)

Einstein declares Dwight insane (Dec 3, 2012)

Riley responsible for Shaq's free-throw woes (May 25, 2006)

Shaq must look to his past for free-throw solution (June 13, 2006)

Does sharpshooter Nash doctor the ball? (April Fools, 2005)

Shaq’s amazing free-throw odyssey (May 10, 2004)

Column correctly predicting Shaq will be 2002 playoffs free-throw hero

How to fix the overvalued trey (Bleacher Report, Feb 4, 2015)

15 Steps to a better NBA (2001)

Open Letter to NBA Director of Refs (Dec 2006)

The NBA's REAL integrity problem (Dec 13, 2007)

1960 Celts vs 2005 Suns (NY Times, Jan 2005)

Nothing's more foul than the intentional foul (Dec 2012)

How "reffing the D" facilitates moving picks (Dec 2011)

Yao floundering under Van Gundy (Nov. 10, 2004)

How to keep centers on the court (Jan 2006)

In NBA caste system, it's good to be untouchable (Nov 10, 2006)

Ben Wallace for MVP (April 2005)

Block/charge interpretation is ruining the NBA (Apr 2003)

Varejao is Blanche DuBois Defender of the Year [scroll to 2nd article] (May 29, 2007)

Blame America, not Europe, for the flop (May 15, 2006)

The NBA Needs a New Cliché: "Make him earn a defensive stop" (Jan 2003)

WNBA Insights 2001

Really Radical Realignment (NY Times 1998)

Letter to a lefthanded president (Sept 2000)

Lying Us Into War: Exposing Bush and His “Techniques of Deceit” (Feb 10, 2003)

An Open Letter to the U.N. About Colin Powell (Feb 4, 2003)

John Kerry's fatally flawed campaign slogan (Oct 14 2004)

How Powell conned the columnists (Feb 24, 2003)

The Disinformation Age (March 4, 2003)

Public's Pro-Inspections Posture Is Mostly M.I.A. on Talking-Heads TV (Feb 28, 2003)

I Was Right (Dec 17, 2005)

NY Times and Russert helped Cheney spread Prague Connection canard (June 24, 2004)

Powell pushed Prague Connection before Cheney did (July 11, 2006)

When John Negroponte was Mullah Omar (May 6, 2004)

Appointment Determinism (Feb. 20, 2004)

Those 16 Words Still Smell (July 2004)

Did “anonymous” Condi push Saddam-9/11 connection? (Oct 2004)

Wusses of Mass Credulity (Oct 19 2002)

Know Means Know (Aug 2003)

I nail the Niger-Connection con (Oct. 20, 2003)

SpongeBob show promotes technosexual agenda (National Catholic Reporter, 2005)

Mr Shaqwell and Mr Blackwell (NY Times, Oct 16, 2005)

Bush Made Taliban a Target After Rove Met with Razor-Industry Execs (Dec 2001)

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Sunday Night Warfare (Nov 2001)

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ANDDOVUS Nations Authorize Regime Change for USA (May 2002)

Trading Is Heavy in the Humans Market (San Francisco Chronicle, 1999)

Tom Cruise Outed Plame (2005)

Powell the star of Bush’s “Façade Corps” (March 9, 2004)

Judith Miller reveals Raiders won 2003 Super Bowl (April 26, 2003)

IAEA labels Bush "fake," Powell "inauthentic" (Mar. 29, 2003)

Team USA Steals Ric Flair’s Script (Aug. 29, 2004)

The DeKathieLee: A New Olympic Event (Sept 2000)

How to Measure Scoring Efficiency (March 2002)

I compare 2005 Suns to 1971 Bucks (scroll down)

The Elusive Triple Double (March 11, 2005)

Nutcase Walton on "athleticism"

Pistons can win with Ben on Shaq (June 2004)

Players Who Cheat and the Announcers Who Love Them (March 8, 2002)

Nash's reading material matches Suns playing style (Feb. 3, 2005)

In Search of Colorblind Commentators (2002)

Dislodging and unnatural shooting motions (Oct 2010)

UMPs and TRUMPs (Jan 2009)

The fundamentals of palming (Dec 2012)

Monty McC and Reffin' the D (Apr 2013)

NBA finally gets clear-path rule right (Feb 2006)

Uncalled whistle leads to injury (March 2013)

Triple steppin' with the Beard (Dec 2012)

Hakeem and Ewing teach Dwight to travel (July 2013)

2006 Playoff Diary: Foul trouble plaguing NBA bigs

NBA values out of whack (2006)

Kelly Dwyer of ESPN and Yahoo

Kelly Dwyer says "THIS is a fabulous column"(2006)

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French legend George Eddy

ESPN's Henry Abbott (who, alas, attributes to me conspiratorial thinking that I don't engage in)

Chronology of my Iraq-related media analyses (June 2003)

"This Week" With Noam and Cokie (Feb 2000)

Defensive Donahue Needs to Go On the Offensive or Get Off the Air (Jan 2003)

Seymour Hersh's Niger-forgeries pipedream (Nov 2003)

David Brinkley’s Real Legacy (June 2003)

Colombia, 60 Minutes and “The Year of Improving Significantly” (2000)

Framing Colombia's War (June 2000)

“The O’Sama Factor”: Bin Laden Mimics O’Reilly (Nov. 2001)

In (Partial) Praise of Robert Novak (Oct. 12, 2003)

A Fake Reporter for a Fake Magazine: Stephen Glass and the “liberal New Republic" (June 2003)

It's a White, White, White Media World (Jan 2003)

Looking at Reagan through (Charlie) Rose-colored glasses (June 2001)

Bush’s Definition of Terrorism Fits Northern Alliance Like a Glove; TV Interviewers Don’t Notice (Nov. 23, 2001)

What If Jayson Blair Were Black? (May 2003)

St Pete Times slanders Amnesty Intl (2005)

How to Widen the U.S. Role in Colombia While Narrowing the Debate (2001)

Bob Woodward is Valerie Plame (Dec. 6, 2005)

''Just Win, Baby'' (Oct 30 2004)

How to deter fibbing and flopping (March 14 2003)

Forked tongues and corked bats (Oct 2002)

Baseball signals and official deceit

How to drink white: Deconstructing the “Whassup” ads (June 2000)

You Go, Bud Girl! (August 2000)

All Drug Ads Are Not Created Equal (Feb 2001)

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The Budweiser National Pastime (July 2000)

Reefer madness strikes NBA (March 2001)

McCaffrey on Weed (May 2000)

SuperBowl drug and anti-drug ads (Feb 9 2002)

Reagan’s Dark Global Legacy (June 2004)

A Foreign-Policy Quiz For McCain (Miami Herald, Feb 2000)

Chicken-Hawk Pundits Can Peck Path to U.S.-Saddam Rapprochement (Sept 26 2002)

A Vietnam-War parable (May 16 2001)

You say Pastrana, I say Duarte (March 2000)

Colombia punishes a bad apple (Feb 2001)

Selling military-aid like a used car (Center for Intl Policy, June 6 2000)

Dissecting Dwight's late-2008 stroke (Dec 2008)

My 30-minute Dwight Howard free-throw fix (Apr 5, 2008)

How I’ll (again) help Shaq at the stripe (March 12, 2006)

Ben’s free throws a risky, wristy proposition (May 25, 2006)

Shaq's problem is spelled R-i-l-e-y (Nov 7, 2007)

Stu Jackson and David Stern channel Barney Fife (May 2007)

Rules for Reffing Shaq (Aug 2002)

Hacker Shaq invites Hack-a-Shaq (Jan. 28, 2005)

Pistons and Spurs pay a price for ignoring my advice (May 24, 2003)

When Numbers Lie (Nov 2002)

Tommy Heinsohn and Russell-era volume-shooting Celts

David Stern and Stu Jackson

Kevin Garnett (defense)

Kevin Garnett (offense)

Oscar, Magic and LeBron

Fixing the foul-out rule (2003)

Pistons can win with Ben on Shaq

Chris Rock and the Vinsanity defense (2004)

Deceptive quickness (2004)

NBA's Top 60 players (Feb 2006)

Advice for Bob Woodward (Nov. 20, 2005)

My essays for Colombia Journal, 2000-02 (long gone)